10 December, 2010

Indulgent self-pity.

Yeah, I know; I haven't updated this thing for a few days, probably more than a week. Sorry. Just another thing to be bad at. Yup, yet another moan about how not-good I am at everything; it's pathetic, but once again, prithee indulge me? It's not like everything in my life is such a massive fail, it's just that the fails are so massive. They eclipse the fact that it's almost Christmas, they eclipse the fact that there's only a week of blessed school left. It's really quite stupid; I HATE BEING A TEENAGER. Most of us don't have the luxury of an online ranting weapon to direct our angst and venom at the innocent, unchallenigng victims of our life; so I feel unjust using it. But it just ISN'T FAIR. I have to fit theis Godawful, ridiculous stereotype of being moody, and hormonal, and annoyed with the world. The only things that give my life some colour are the public holidays, my laptop, and my boyfriend. I lead such a thrilling life, but what riles me most is that while I seem to have to suffer all of this rubbish, the only thing that might make it bearable isn't occuring! I mean, if everyone else felt the same, it would be fine. Like, if they all felt challenged and worn out with the pointlessness and futility (yep, they are the same things. But one's a bigger word thatn the other) on their teenage years, we could all be miserable and angst-ridden togetther, and happy about our unhappiness. But no, you perfect people, the ones who've been blessed with the ability to GET OVER STUFF, to whizz through life uncaring, you've all got it good. Wheras I'm stuck at the back, struggling along against this endless battle with everything; and for what? So that I can come out of the other end, at nineteen or twenty years old, and look back fondly on my teenage years with rose-tinted glasses about five miles thick, and proclaim, like every other smug, sanctimonious human being on this planet, that they were the 'best years of my life'. Yep. If these are supposed to be the best years of my life, then I dread to think what adulthood will be like. For God's sake, just leave me alone to be miserable, all of you. Go on, go.

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