26 April, 2012

Get your social networking right, morons!

Hello!! This is just a verrrry quick post to let off a bit of steam, and it's being done from my phone so I do apologise for any preposterous spelling atrocities, courtesy of my lovely AutoCorrect-type-thingy. Why not disable it, I hear you cry?! Millions cried out...sorry, what? Ya whatwhat? Well, the answer unfortunately is once again my laziness. Yes, folks, and don't claim to be surprised. You know how lazy I am, and you don't even know me! And the reason I don't disable autocorrect is because I like the fact that it periodically changes my incorrect lower case musings, and I don't think I could be as fantastically eloquent as I am without it. No, that's a lie becausex as I'm sure you've gathered by now, I don't spell check this old thing, and all my posts until now have been done on a computer somehow, somewhere. Times a-changin'! But yes, the reason you're all gathered here, at your collective computers about the world, most probably, as I AM now famous. (yes, I fully consider 7,000 page views to constitute as Internet blogger fame. THANK YOUUUUUU!!!) the reason I've requested my extended worldly family's presence is simply because I want to moan about facebook and twitter. I've been on twitter for little under two years now, and I got it BEFORE Facebook, and primarily for my blog promotion as well. Now? Everyone I know has twitter because they can! They clearl misunderstand, unlike the other however many billion (probably...) users, and have mistaken twitter for another version d Facebook. I'm fyig to shout toast of these people that the reason they have soapy follower is because they're socially popular, at school. It' the rough equivalent to having 1,000 friend on Facebook. But I'd much rather have 1,000 twitter followers, because unknown that's only for my blog, not for my FACE or my bitchy tweets. I caught someon on there saying, "tweet me a number and I'll write something!". Well, no. That's for facebook, you douche. You complete moron, how dare you sully MY twitter, MY world, with your stupid social climbing desperation?! Don't you dare get Twitter just becaus you're ores of Facebook, like my entire school did, any of you. Or you'll be banned from me and my wisdom forthwith. EEEEEEEJITS!!!

16 April, 2012

Just gigging along...

In my lifetime, I've been to six gigs, which is pretty pathetic.
They are as follows;
2008- Foo Fighters, Led Zeppelin, Queens Of The Stone Age, Them Crooked Vultures.
2010- Eliza Doolittle, Paloma Faith.
2011- Mayday Parade, Blitz Kids, A Rocket To The Moon, We Are The In Crowd/Blessing To A Burden/2x independant gigs.
This year, I've made plans to go to at least two more gigs, Friends with the magical Mawhinney in Birmingham next month, and Blink-182, Four Year Strong and You Me @ Six in June with a friend. These are really pulling me through at the moment, there's nothing quite like the feverish excitement of gigging.
For example, I'm hoping most of you know by now that at least a quarter of the excitement of a night out, be it a party, a club or a gig, is getting ready. This applies to boys as well as girls, it's not just chicks that shower and do their hair before making a public appearence. But you know how it is; you spend a couple of hours showering, doing hair and make-up, getting clothes, probably doing all this with a friend. And as you go, you're listening to music, most likely some sort of 'dance mix', or maybe an artists' playlist if you're going to see them live. And you're dancing, singing, getting excited. IT'S AWESOME.
There's the social aspect; having a mini-party as you get ready with friends, the weeks leading up to the event when you're getting organised and, certainly in my case, it's all you can talk about.
And then there's the actual experience. Of getting into the gig, of seeing all these people jumping as one, and shouting at each-other to be heard, or the palpable excitement of the crowd when the house lights go down once more...the way you all cheer and dance and jump together, everyone looking beautiful and feverish and excited by the music. There's such an amazing feeling of total unity when you're jumping and waving, and I hate to say it, but it's love. There's so much love there, because it's hard to hate people when you're so close to them your sweat's getting mixed up. Yeah, it's gross, but it's bonding!

My advice is, go to as maaaaaaaaaany gigs as you possibly can. Honestly, just grab a ticket off the internet, or off a friend if you can blag one. If it's someone you've never heard of (which is often better, because you don't know what to expect, and if it's an Unknown, the tickets are quite a bit cheaper than the big guys) then strive to get there. Work up your own delirium, it's so worth it to get there and see everyone go crazy.
Do it! My aim is to go to 100+ gigs in my lifetime, and I will achieve it. I promise.

I'm obviously not ''fashionabible''...

Yes, again as with regards to the title, I KNOW I've included extra letters, but it makes the word so much more fun to say. Same goes to responsibible, sensibible, terribible and the rest. It's fantastic; just one of those little things you can slip into a conversation, that make people stop and go, ''Wait- what??'' about five minutes later. Something small to bring a smile to my face, you know how it is.
That brings me on to an anecdote, before the actual point of this post (my, my, Beth, aren't we excelling today...), that was recently rehashed over a bottle of gin amongst my parents, their friends and me. It sounds so boring, but it's actually times like this when I love being me, and living my life. It's fantastic.
But anyway! The anecdote, dear hearts!
My Dad's friend was job-hunting a while back, and typing up his CV (incedentally, just written my very own and first CV for a job of a shop assistant! Wish me luck!) he distributed it etc. etc. as you do. It was only when he re-read it that he discovered under his profile, the word 'determinated'. Now, being as I am, grammatically-inclined, should I say, I noticed the apparent hilarity of this straight away, and proceded to laugh, muchly. And the next thing he said (in real-life, over the gin bottle, not in his CV) was that, looking us dead in the eye, it was 'perfectly cromulent' to use that word. Cromulent isn't a word either, but how many of you actually knew that before I told you? How fantastic is that?! It's brilliant. Just a silly little manipulation of the English language, or a glorious invention slipped subtly into a conversation...gah! It's just fantastic.

Now, moving on to the title-point (I should really patent that, it's a very good phrase. Yet more word-manipulation!). I suppose we've all noticed the Kony2012 campaign spreading rapidly over Twitter, Facebook and even the news to an extent (how sad is it that I'm surprised a piece of news is actually on the news, and yet perfectly accepting of it on social networks?), and probably the way it's been affecting people around us. I certainly do; a lot of people I know are partaking (allegedly...) in 'Cover The Night' projects next Friday, of literally skipping through Newbury town and papering it between the hours of 6:30pm and 6:30am with posters, leaflets and banners. I've been invited to several such events, and haven't responded, purely to gain this information and thus the level of stupidity rising. It's dangerous, you see...you can actually 'catch' stupid. But anyway. I'm not going to divulge to those of you who are unaware of this campaign, but what I will give you is a massive cookie for not actually caring enough to see anything about it, or just by sheer coincedence avoiding everything to do with our old pal Kony.
You see, I disagree. This is the point where everyone gets up in arms, 'How can you not care about the sake of 10,000 Ugandan children?!', 'It'd be different if it was you being kidnapped' etc. etc. And, here's the thing; I tend to get severely UNresponsive when people jump down my throats, so, sit down and let me explain. The thing is, Kony's actions have been happening for 20+ years now, and the reason it's only just hit the news over here, and thus everyone's consciences, is because a (very corrupt) charity called Invisible Children made a 30-minute long video which, for some reason went very viral (can I say that? It's cromulent...) very quickly. And thus everyone on Facebook is now filled with self-righteous indignation of the, 'He's so mean', 'I can't believe he's been allowed to get away with this' and 'Think of the children' variety...this is manifested in statuses, mostly.
Now, as I'm on the side of the opposition, the side that believes that, actually, a status or two isn't going to put a stop to 20 years' worth of terror, and that the people in POWER are actually dealing with it, and given their positions, salaries and reputations, probably know what they're talking about...you never know, the higher authority might just have a couple of ideas up their political wizard sleeves.
Unfortunately, for me and several others, our continued resistance (read 'pig-headedness') to the righteous causes of awesome has rendered us the target of many a campaign, many a Facebook slating. And so, I'm just wondering, when did an opinion become fashionable? When did it become 'cool' to agree with everyone, and to join them in their own personal stands? This isn't right; it should be 'cool' to be able to back up your argument, which is excactly what my friends and I were NOT allowed to do. So, we sat back and we proceeded to make jokes about the situation instead. If people weren't going to listen to us, we weren't going to humour them by taking their ridiculous sanctimony seriously.

That was a good few weeks back, and with the Cover The Night date fast approaching (20th-21st April- next Friday and Saturday for those of you chillin' in the GMT with my good self), I'm just wondering now what's going to happen; see, all the people that were motivated by their right-on indignity haven't spoken, nay, whispered, of Kony for weeks now. It was literally one night, during which Facebook blazed with awesome. So, when they all suddenly jump up again, in all their glory, I will have no choice but to laugh, and laugh, and laugh. It's all you can do, when everyone around you refuses to listen to logic.

14 April, 2012

A spider just jumped out of my bin.

Some days I am floored by the monotony of my life. Get up, get dressed, do face, go to school, go home...
Sometimes there's really not that much to look forward to. But then again...sometimes, something really stupid happens, probably not for any kind of reason other than to further perplex you. Or maybe it's to scare you back into normality. Sometimes, I'll wake up and my routine will be disturbed by a not-altogether pleasant surprise. And it's then that I'll pine fruitlessly for everything to return to normal.
And even though I hate normal,
I'd take that over a spider jumping out of my bin anyday.

09 April, 2012


I fail to see how it could have escaped your notice, regulars, but I'm now a member of a team! A WRITING TEAM. On an actual, actual real website ting. It's aaaaaawesome. Here's the link;
And again;
So, go and visit it. It's a fantastic site, put together by the magical Mawhinney and the delightful...dapper (?) James Dowen! The talent by these boys, as well as the fourth writer, Jamie ''Jams'', is astounding, and not to big myself up or nothing (hehehe) but I think that the four of us certainly have the type of dedication to really get this website off the ground; the addition of more writers can only be a good thing!
Please, please, please visit the site; it's fantastically put together, there's already so much content on it, and something for literally everyone. And we're looking for more writers, so if you fancy it, apply! It will be amaaaaaaazing!!!
If you have any questions, you can always Tweet any one of us, including the administrator(s) of the actual site, or of course, email the Topicalise address, or just stick a comment down below.
Our twitter addresses are as follows;
The magical Mawhinney- @Olly_96
The dapper Dowen- @J_Dowen
The 'j'enius James- @jams1999
*NB: sorry for the poor alliteration of the last address; will think of a better one in due course!*
Or, of course, me!
The brilliant Beth- @WisdomOfBeth
AND, last but not least,
The 'totally magical/dapper/'j'enius/brilliant' Topicalise- @TOPICALISE

I think I can speak for all of us when I say we'd love to hear from you!
G'night, regleeeeurs.

Eyes backwards.

For my 14th birthday, I went with my Mum and her friend to the Hammersmith Apollo in Laaarnndarn, on Monday the 8th November to go and see Eliza Doolittle and Paloma Faith in concert. Apoplectic with excitement, as it was only my second gig and Paloma Faith was MYFAVOURITEARTISTINTHEWORLDEVEROK?!, I couldn't stop bouncing, and took the three hours' standing as NOTHING in my stride. And rightly, as it was an amazing gig, and I had such a fantastic time WITH MY MUM!! Eliza was fantastic, and made us all laugh; she was only sixteen at the time, and I remember being so amazed that such a huge voice could come from such a young girl! But she was amazing, and had us all enraptured for a good half hour at least.

Then there was the half hour wait, during which time all the house lights kept going down, as did the hum from the audience, and thenc oming back on again, to get us all geared up for the performance. And it. Was. Amazing.

Paloma Faith sings with such passion and honesty that it's hard to tear your eyes away for even a second. She played all my favourites, including a fantastic, uproarious cover version of 'F*** You' by Cee-Lo Green, which was done brilliantly.

But that's not the purpose of this post. The purpose of this post is not to write a review of a gig that happened a year and a half ago. This is a testimony to Paloma Faith's ex-bassist-turned-performer, Seye Adelekan!

Seye (Eyes spelt backwards) is twenty years old, and has already been the guitarist for Paloma, as well as the band The Noisettes, and Ellie Goulding. His brother is Bgnega, from the band Metronomy, and his new music has already been played by Rob Da Bank and Huw Stephens. A link for his track 'Mexicana Bounce' is included below;
and had me singing along literally within one replay of the song. He's also recently released 'White Noise', which has had an average rating of 9 from NME; this is truly well-deserved though, because Seye is just the kind of artist you can see yourself playing over and over, and not getting tired. I think the main thing that makes him so, well...listenable, is the amount of layering that goes in to his music. For example, you have the easy lyrics, catchy words that have you repeating him effortlessly by the second or third play. It's the perfect blend of tried-and-tested song structure, mixed with the irresistable, bubbly feel of a place different to where you are. Mexicana Bounce is my new favourite thing, because the video is so HAPPY, and matches the song, and what I hope to be Seye's personality so, so well.

To conclude, listen to him. He's fantastic, and has accomplished so much in the last couple of years. MARK MY WORDS; Seye Adelekan will be H-YOW-GE. And remember, you heard it here first ;D

Mawhinney's magic!

Hey guys, bored of me yet? Haha, I can't tell you how strange it is to be typing on a normal keyboard again, I've pretty much been living from my phone for the past three days or so, I'm in love!! I don't know about you horrible lot, but I've had a brilliant weekend; nothing better than spending Easter amongst family and friends, with lots of chocolate, amazing food and just a smidgeon of the ole' alcoholic beverages...FANTASTIC!

The main reason for writing (because yes, I do have a point to this...) is to let you guys know abut a friend of mine. Well, I hope I can call him a friend...but anyway. So, my fantastic friend Mr. Mawhinney is a fellow blogger of mine (find him at http://oliver-mawhinney.blogspot.com, but not for much longer!!) is breaking away from Blogspot, believe it or not! We first 'met' over Twitter, bonded by our mutual love for Seye Adelekan (@SeyeMusic on Twitter) (look out for a post about him soon!), and from there, it just grew! We followed each-other, read and liked each-other's blogs etc. etc. and here we are! Then on Friday night, I was presented with a 'blogging opportunity' by none other than Mr. Mawhinney, who's starting up his very own website! I was asked, amongst others, to be a writer on said website, in return for links to this old thing, and hopefully increased pageviews and recognition.

The site launches at 8:30pm tonight, and no doubt I'll be plastering the link over here, Twitter and Facebook, so keep an eye out! Please do visit it, as knowing Mawhinney as I do (albeit in a cyber fashion, but nonetheless!) it'll be a fantastic website!

That's not to say this lovely thing will be being neglected, as I don't think anthing could encourage me to write, more than being touted as a 'writer' for a big website, and being given my own writer's profile! :O

I am speechless with excitement.

05 April, 2012

Slightly confused, if I'm honest...

How many of you, my lovely readers, my awesome bloggettes, actually know me? Do any of you have any idea as to the girl behind the words, the one who writes all of this anger and comedy? This blog, truth be told, is usually a parody of my life, the kind of thing that takes away any seriousness about something really bothering me. And, thus far, everyone who follows me on Twitter, who likes my page on Facebook, who leaves comments, largely don't know me. None of you do. If you passed me on the street, you wouldn't recognise me. To hear me speak, you probably wouldn't guess who I am. Even if you were doing some kind of voyeur-istic, creepy look-in on my life, you'd have no clue whatsoever that I was me. Until you saw me open my laptop, pull out my chair, curl up and start my trusty old keyboard-pounding. And you know something, dudes? I really love that. You don't actually care what I've done, what I've been through, or what I want to do with my LIFE (incidentally, another post coming up, maybe? Watch this space >.<), and I think that's why I feel closer to 6,000 strangers than to the people I see every day at school. But the thing is, the confusing thing...they don't show me the love that you guys do! I'm not saying it's a god-given right...anyone who's loved should be grateful for that, because it's a really precious thing...but these strangers at school still hate me? They probably know more about me than you do, readers. But, they don't like me? And that's probably wherein the issue lies; they know about me. But, I hasten to add, what they've heard is different to what they actually know, and that's the main issue; nowadays that line is being repeatedly blurred, so much so that I'm scarcely given a chance to forge new friendships. And most of the time, I don't care. I really, really don't.

Too long, some might say...

Most of you won't get the title (who even does?) but it's a link from my old friend's most recent post-title, to this one. And this friend and I fell apart, regrettably. A lot. We argued more than anyone I've ever known, and even when we weren't together, we still argued. Fire with fire? More like fire with petrol. It was fun at first but then it got too painful, and we both kept getting down because of it. So in the end we called it quits, but of course that didn't work...I mean, you can't walk away from petrol can you? The moment before the explosion, when everything gets static, before the ultimate WOOOOOOSH, taking away everything and cleaning it. Or burning it. Or both.
So we carried on. Until I got too down, and he got too angry, and we just stopped. We threw water over the relationship and walked away from the embers, because really? What else are you supposed to do with these two things that keep exploding in beautiful, dangerous, harmful ways? Drown it. Fight it with something that makes it stop working, aka water. And the water was the other dude, but he didn't know it yet. And it'll be cool when I stop regretting all the stupid stuff I've done to get to this point, but not yet. Nooooot just yet...

04 April, 2012


Happily, being the proud owner of Twitter and Facebook pages for my blog, both with comfortable ratings of more than 3 people in terms of popularity, I can look at branching out, or to paraphrase my last post, adding another jewel in my empire of Beth-ness, or some such whimsy. SO, as also mentioned in the previous post (why are you even reading this one? Clearly the last post has all the information you need to know...), I was looking into the idea of vlogging.

Vlogging is a portmanteau (French for, 'word child') of the words 'video' and 'blogging'; essentially, a blog, therefore a further extension of WR, but in video format. This means that I'd still be blogging on this ole' thing *pats affectionately*, but I'd also be adding vlog posts to a YouTube channel.

I think it'd definitely be something to consider, because then you lovely readers could leave me video responses and you know how this chica right here is all up in the grill of Communication...I think that starting a channel on YouTube could really be beneficial. A couple of my friends from school are on Twitter, with over 500 followers, purely because they post videos on their channels, so the viewers get to see the real person.

It also means you can see how fantastically funny I am, finally put a name and a voice to all my inane ramblings, and probably laugh at all my bloopers. I shall make bloopers.

Also, as another idea for a fresh take on TWOB's EMPIREEEEEEE (fantastic. Do I get minions with that?), please feel free to ask me some questions!! Facebook (The Wisdom Of Beth 'fictional character), Twitter (@WisdomOfBeth 'Beth Parker- be interesting and be interested') and, of course, here, are all available, so leave some queries in the comment box down yonder, and I'll hopefully be able to add an FAQ PAGE SOON!! Gah, I've ALWAYS wanted one of those. It's like I'm interesting enough for someone to enquire, or some such.